Wow, I am REALLY bad at this! I've never been much of a diary writer or journal-er, believe me I've tried many times. It's been 6 years since the last time I tried to do this...man where did that time go? Not that it really matters, I don't really have "readers" or "followers". E is no longer an only child, in the 6 years since my last post G and L
have joined our lives. E is now 8, G is ALL boy at 5, and L is a sharp 3
year old.
Tomorrow, we are embarking on a new journey. I am having a consult with my OBGYN. No biggie right? It's totally normal to get a yearly check up, but this isn't a normal check up. I am going to see my Dr. because T and I have been TTC for 15 months now. We have lost two little angels along the way. I know that many fellow believers would say "just pray and wait" or "God must not want you to have another right now". I HAVE been praying and waiting and I have had two little lives snuffed out inside of me in the process. It is not something I want to go through again. Four times total is more than enough. I am tired of my MIL asking what is wrong with me and why this keep happening or people saying "you should be thankful for the 3 you have". The Lord put this desire in my heart for another baby, I know HE is not done filling out our family. My hearts breaks every time I walk into church and see a new belly popping out or a newborn paraded around the sanctuary. Its all I can do to hold back tears most of the time.
I have put off the call to the Dr since July, after the last MC, but today after 100% confirmation that it wasn't happening this time either, I called. I know it is the route I am supposed to be taking because they had a last minute cancellation for tomorrow. Doesn't that say something?!
I am not sure what the process is going to be, I do know that IVF is not a possibility for us. I also know as much as I would love to open our home, adoption is not an option either. The finances for these things is nonexistent.
Pray for us, for answers, and hopefully, Lord willing, and new little bean (or two) for our little family! I am going to try to keep this up throughout all of this. No promises, lol!!
Tomorrow, we are embarking on a new journey. I am having a consult with my OBGYN. No biggie right? It's totally normal to get a yearly check up, but this isn't a normal check up. I am going to see my Dr. because T and I have been TTC for 15 months now. We have lost two little angels along the way. I know that many fellow believers would say "just pray and wait" or "God must not want you to have another right now". I HAVE been praying and waiting and I have had two little lives snuffed out inside of me in the process. It is not something I want to go through again. Four times total is more than enough. I am tired of my MIL asking what is wrong with me and why this keep happening or people saying "you should be thankful for the 3 you have". The Lord put this desire in my heart for another baby, I know HE is not done filling out our family. My hearts breaks every time I walk into church and see a new belly popping out or a newborn paraded around the sanctuary. Its all I can do to hold back tears most of the time.
I have put off the call to the Dr since July, after the last MC, but today after 100% confirmation that it wasn't happening this time either, I called. I know it is the route I am supposed to be taking because they had a last minute cancellation for tomorrow. Doesn't that say something?!
I am not sure what the process is going to be, I do know that IVF is not a possibility for us. I also know as much as I would love to open our home, adoption is not an option either. The finances for these things is nonexistent.
Pray for us, for answers, and hopefully, Lord willing, and new little bean (or two) for our little family! I am going to try to keep this up throughout all of this. No promises, lol!!
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